Monday, August 19, 2013

Even Sleeping, He's Diabotical!

It's time for another edition of "What My Husband Did Last Night."

Last week I posted my long post of all things my husband has done in his sleep. (Click here for the post) That night my husband decided to bestow another sleep story to me and really on to all of you out there reading this. Thank you husband.

I forgot to let you in on a little joke I have. My husband isn't particularly nice in his sleep. Kinda like how I am when I first wake up. I have warned my husband that I will probably do and say whatever to get a couple extra minutes of sleep...even if that means I'm hitting the snooze button for an hour. I realize while awake that it's completely pointless. How good could the sleep be in 10 minute increments with three different alarms going off? 

Anyways back on topic, I have decided I'm married to two different people. "Boyfriend"....my nickname for my husband that started when we were dating, but now just confuses people especially when I answer the phone. I assure you there is no boyfriend on the side. and "Sleep Husband." As I mentioned in my previous post, I was not aware I was marrying Sleep Husband until I had already signed the papers. Sleep Husband is crazy and mean. He is also hilarious. So, I guess it's a trade-off.

I came to bed later than my husband that night. This sometimes happens when he has to get up insanely early the next day (sometimes he has to be up at around 3 am....uh, no thank you). It's the best time for a Sleep Husband sighting.

Last week, I had just laid down when he got up out of bed. I somehow knew he wasn't getting up for any purpose, so I stopped him and told him to go back to bed. (For the benefit of all of us, I probably should have let him get up and do what ever crazy thing he had planned.)

He immediately laid back down on his back, put his hands on his chest and proceeded to tap them together reminiscent of Dr. Evil from Austin Powers. Then, he started quietly humming and turned his face to me slowly and stared at me. I just started giggling, and he went back to sleep. I don't know what Sleep Husband has planned, but I am thinking it involves "One Million Dollars."


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